Spirit and Space in Grief
The last month has been a lot for our family. In fact, the whole year has had more grief than I care to experience.
Grieving demands our attention. Time slows down. I can’t move as quickly or accomplish as much as I’m accustomed to. I feel like I’m trying to swim through mud.
Have you noticed how tired grief makes you feel? I’m not sleeping well, and I feel more tired than usual. Fatigue makes it harder to be resilient. Emotions are closer to the surface, hard to ignore.
My thoughts turn to how spirit and space can impact a season of grief.
Let’s look at space first.
When you’re grieving, spend time in a space that supports you, where you can really get comfy and nurture yourself. You might need to clear a space in a favorite room or on a comfortable chair or sofa; it’s worth the time to be able to fully relax.
Don’t worry about tidying everything. Do the minimum that you can get by with. If it stresses you out to leave the dishes on the counter, take a few minutes to take care of them. As I’ve written in other blogs, sometimes when life is out of control, it really feels good to create order in your space.
For solace, you might keep a reminder of what you lost close at hand. This picture shows items from our dog, Addie, who died unexpectedly last month. Addie wasn’t the most significant loss that we’ve experienced in recent weeks, but her death knocked the wind out of my sails. I’m amazed how quiet the house is without her, and how much I miss her.
As for spirit, a season of grief calls you to be gentle with yourself. Take the time you need to grieve; don’t keep pushing so hard to get it all done and do all the things.
When I was stressing over a self-imposed work deadline earlier this week, a wise friend reminded me that I don’t have to do it all myself, in the timeframe I originally set. Things will get done in time. It’s ok to pause in hard times.
It can be difficult to maintain regular exercise routines when you’re grieving, but moving your body and getting fresh air nurtures the spirit. I’ve been scraping by with the minimum.
Yesterday I took a walk on a beautiful autumn afternoon. I reminded myself to breathe deeply and appreciate the beauty of the trees and the sky. And I noted how grateful I am for those who are journeying the path with me at this time. Being grateful for friends and family who support us in grief lifts the spirit.
Tucked below Addie’s ashes in the picture above is a candle holder given to me years ago by a very dear friend who died last week. It includes one of my favorite quotes, from Julian of Norwich:
All shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of thing shall be well.
Be well, friends. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones in seasons of grief.