What Do You Keep to Remember a Life?
We will miss him dearly this Christmas.
Chip spent most Christmas holidays with us since 1991, when we asked him to be our son’s Godfather. He died this fall, so the season will be very different in our house.
Chip taught me a lot about how to care for space at home. As a professional estate/house manager, he knew how to set up a home, throw a party, and keep things tidy. In his honor, I offer four vignettes,
He suggested plaid wallpaper. Plaid? Really? No way. Stupid idea. The bathroom in our old house had pink and blue tile, a relic from the 70’s. And you know what? We finally went with it. That “stupid” plaid wallpaper worked beautifully. Chip always loved a good plaid.
He knew how to set the table. What dishes to pair with the glassware. What linens to use and how to prepare them. What iron and ironing board to use for those linens. To my surprise, having the right tools really made a difference. Now I like ironing…but not as much as he did. I’ll be thinking of him while ironing the Christmas tablecloth.
He knew how to make guests feel welcome. What color should we paint the room? What items would make our guests feel most welcome? The soft throw, the water carafe, the accent pillow, the thrifted chair and ottoman, a larger rug with muted colors…with his guidance we created a welcoming room where guests feel relaxed and comfortable. He was our most frequent guest through the years, coming for important occasions, Christmas, and quick summer getaways. His spirit echoes in that room.
He knew how to entertain. From the table to the bar to the living room set-up, he knew how to serve a crowd and make them feel welcome. Before a gathering I could always seek his opinion on how to apply something new or deal with an unusual wrinkle. There were even a couple of parties for which he flew to be with us, helping to work the crowd, replenish the food, keep things cleaned up, organize the flow, and chat with friends in his characteristic spirit.
What do you keep to remember a life? A life cut short. A life of puzzling juxtapositions and mysteries.
It’s the antlers. The bedazzled reindeer antlers. That’s what I wanted. He wore them as he led us in his annual Christmas trivia game, and sometimes during cocktail time by the fire, sipping the perfect martini.
There wasn’t much for us to keep among his belongings. Much was donated. A friend set out a pile of ties at the funeral reception; there must have been 50 of them, long and bow, many in blues and plaids. His friends delighted in having a little piece by which to remember him.
But I was hoping for the antlers. When my husband found them in the apartment, he texted me this picture. He also found a pile of Christmas trivia cards.
This year we’ll make his perfect martini, set it on the table in front of the fire, and offer a toast to him. We’ll play Christmas trivia and watch the movies we always watched with him. White Christmas was a favorite.
We’ll remember and laugh, shed some tears, miss him.
Don’t be surprised to see us wearing the reindeer antlers.
Merry Christmas, Chip. We miss you. Rest in peace, my friend.